Forced to Smile
by After17
Summary: Edward returns to Forks to discover that the Bella he once knew and loved is not the same girl, but can the eventually fall in love again? All Vampires. BellaxEdward.
1. My Angel

**Lost and Found**

**Edward returns to Forks to discover that the Bella he once knew and loved is not the same girl. BellaxEdward. AU**

**Dedicated to/Written for: (You. Know. Who. You. Are.)**

_**C**_**h**_**a**_**p**_**t**_**e**_**r**_** O**_**n**_**e**

…_**My Angel**_**...**

"B…Bella, is that you?" I asked struggling to make the words meet, stumbling forward, trying to reach her past the crowds of people, stopping me from powering forward towards my love. She looked beautiful with her long curly brown hair flowing down her back like feathery wings.

My Angel.

She saved me once from my own personal hell and she was here again to save me.

What a beautiful angel!

"You…" She hissed. "You _bastard_," She cried out.

"What?" I asked stunned, but I guess I deserved a cold welcome into her life at least, I guessed it but I was living in the fantasy she would run across the street and straight into my arms.

"How dare you come back here!" She pointed a long finger at me before leaping towards me at incredible speed.

_Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up Wake __up, the Arcade Fire_

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"Edward, it's been such a long time. I guess it was a good thing we got there when we did or Bella may have tore you limb from limb," Carlisle said, as warm as ever. I'd been welcomed back with such warm friendly arms. Typical.

Carlisle's young face looked hinted that he was both happy (I was back) and in pain. It would seem that there was a distinct strain on my family.

The living room had changed drastically since I was gone but I wasn't too interested in noticing the small differences however the sofa's were now rather close together as opposed to being far apart unlike before.

I wonder if Bella provoked this change.

"When? When was she changed? WHY? Who did this?" I snapped. Bella stood next to Rosalie arms crossed not impressed with me. I could see that in her far apart eyes.  
"Edward," Esme soothed. I turned to look at my beautiful mother's face the was such sadness in her eyes but also her pain. Her loose curls cascading around her face, framing it nicely. She had welcomed me with such a loving hug- one I didn't deserve but accepted none-the-less.

"Don't tell him _anything_, he doesn't deserve to know," Bella spat. Despite her ugly attitude she still looked divine to me.

"Bella, calm down please," Esme sighed.

"I have every right to know why you're one of us, who?" I asked, directing my question at her.

The front door swung open and shut loudly. Emmett.

And Jasper.

"Har har har… Edward? EDDIE? You've got to be kidding me!" Both Jasper and Emmett rushed into the room.

"Brother! Where have you been? How are you? Did you bring me back a souvenir?" Emmett asked, laughing. I guess he chose to ignore the cold wall between Bella and me.

I felt a wave of calm wash over me and the confusion was leaving my system.

"Yes, here it is," I balled my hand into a fist and held it out an inch or two away from his face.

"Aw, come on brother," Emmett said, laughing.

"Where did Bella go anyways?" I asked. It would seem I was still unable to read her thoughts.

"No, Edward," Rosalie butt in.

"Rosalie, stay out of this- this is between Bella and I," I said. She let out a low hiss but stayed away. I took the stairs two at a time.

"Edward…"

"Alice,"

I turned on my heel to face Alice was at the top of the stairs.

"Bella… she's not the same,"

"I know- I want to find out what happened you all keep standing in my way and stopping me from learning the truth about her- let me find her let me learn… from her,"

"Fine… go. We all tried to warn you," Alice waved her hand at me, gesturing me to go on.

_You're old room._

"Thank you," I said, practically running over. I took a second to gather my thoughts and swung the door open.

"Do you not knock anymore?" She asked, glaring at me.

"I need to know," not taking in my surroundings. All I wanted to see was _her._

"Know _what_?"

"Why. Who. When. You've changed," I said, trying to get closer to her but I could see how that made her turn away and react.

"After you left, apparently you can die from a broken heart," Bella said, the sarcasm dripping from her fragile lips as she spoke those words. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders as if she was cold but I knew that wasn't a possibility.  
"Bella, I don't understand- please explain, make some sense!" I said.

"EDWARD! When you left do you have any idea about what happened to me when you left me in forest that time? Do you understand how… how _lost_ and _hurt_ and _unloved_ I felt after you left and then and then you never. Came. Back. I was alone, Edward. My heart never healed- for that I doubt I could _ever_ forgive you," She said, the words each hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"Who," I asked. Who had changed her?

"You listen! You were so freaking afraid of your kind hurting me but you forget to think about how much what you had done would hurt me- the transformation hurt nothing like _that_, nothing like having you're heart ripped from your chest by the one you love and thrown away," Bella said, looking down at her knees. She looked so pretty, the light hitting her pale skin and sparkling like a million tiny diamonds. I'd always admired the sparkles. They were always pretty. She looked like a goddess. She was stunning. My heart sung at the sight of her beauty.

"I see… do you want me to leave again?" I asked. She hated me I was sure. She spoke with such hatred she'd love to see me dead.

She didn't move for a while before speaking, "No,"

"You want me to stay?"

"…Yes" She spoke before realizing what she had said. "Only because Emmett misses you, not me," She said.

"Alright, I'll stay," I said, looking into her pure amber eyes.

"Edward?" She spoke softly.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Did you honestly think that you leaving would help me?" She asked, a raw harshness and power to her voice.

"I don't know what I was thinking but I know I'm an idiot," I said.

"You are."

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The minutes turned to hours and hours to days. I only left my old room to hunt once with Jasper, it felt like nothing had changed with him.

As horrible as it sounded he was glad to see me come crawling back. Groveling to be welcomed into the family again.

It had made him feel stronger emotionally. Like he wasn't a disappointment to Carlisle anymore. And because he felt that way he could accept me back, flaws and mistakes.

However the hatred Bella felt for me still killed him inside. Her hatred and my pain.

He told me she hadn't stopped hating me and what I did to her and he knew that when she came back the hatred never faltered if anything she hated me _more_.

I knew that I deserved it. I took her heart and threw it away and for that she will never forgive me.

Fortunately I was able to piece together her death from everyone's thoughts.

She'd told me herself she'd died of a broken heart but then Emmett revealed that she'd started doing some reckless things but nothing fatal then she'd jumped off of this cliff down at La Push. What she was doing down there I'm not sure or why she had jumped I doubt I'd ever learn but basically Alice saw this and came back to Forks and managed to save her life until Carlisle came and bit her giving her immortality.

It would seem her heart was frozen in the process.

She stood motionless over on her side, it had been established when I came here that her side was on the left and my side was the right. She only ever crossed the line to leave the room.

I found it hard to believe that both of us stood there, on our sides, motionless for days.

I desperately wanted to say something to fall to my knees and beg her to speak; to ask for forgiveness; to apologize for turning her into a heartless monster.

I hope she'd laugh and tell me she'd take me back- accept my apology. I had a sneaking suspicion that she would laugh and tell me I was an idiot.

"Edward," Bella choked out, from her side of the room. My thoughts were interrupted but I didn't mind.

"Yes, Bella? What would you like?" I asked, turning to see her cold, white face. She still set my heart on fire.

"Will you take me to your meadow?" She asked, painfully. You'd think she was dying of a fatal disease from the way she chocked out those words, like she saying them on her last breath.

"Yes," I said, happy that she was talking to me after days of silence. She came over, "Now?" I asked.

"Yes, when else?" She asked, sarcastically rolling her topaz colored iris'.

"Alright," I said, turning and heading off.

We dashed down the stairs, she sure was a speedy little thing wasn't she?

On the way I saw Alice's face- hidden in the shadows watch us intensely like she knew something I didn't as we ran towards to door.

I started my Volvo, while Bella sat next to me, not bothering with the seatbelt.

I wondered… I turned the stereo on, yep. My car hadn't been touched, the radio was still set on the same station it was when I left.

"No." She said, coldly.

"Bella, if I'm taking you to the meadow, then I should get a favor back," I said, looking at her face as I reversed out of the garage.

"No,"

"I need you to stop being a bitch and calm down," I said, staring at her face.

"No, and stop staring at me like that," She said, madly crossing her arms over her chest. I sped off down the woodsy pathway to the Cullen house.

The fresh smell of pine, moss and animal blood seeped into the car.

"No," I replied.

"Okay, maybe this was a bad idea!" She declared as I reached the gravel road.

"Well, we can still turn around," I snapped, stopping immediately, coming to a screeching holt.

I saw her face, thinking. She looked out the window to the small town of Forks, she eyebrows twisted into a tight frown. "No, I want to go. Drive," She said, finally.

"Please?" I smirked. I just knew this was _killing_ her.

She remained silent as stone.

"Say it," I demanded.

"…please," She whispered softly.

I smirked.

"Just go Edward!" She snapped. I hit my foot on the accelerator and floored it. "And can we turn the radio off?" She asked, not looking at the speed dial as it climbed higher and higher.

"My car. My rules," I said, smugly. She hissed in anger and defeat. Regardless I turned the radio off "I didn't really like that song, much," I said, not looking at her beautiful face.

On the way, she hung her head and ignored me.

"Why?" I said, as the scenery flew by the window.

"Because," She said. I looked at her mad face. She looked at me intensely. "I tried to find it when I was alone…" She trailed off.

"Clearly you didn't find it," I said, looking ahead.

"No, I didn't," She said.

"Why? Why do you want to go back?" I asked.

"Because I never stopped loving you,"

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"…It's impossible to love someone when you're heart is broken," She said, sitting cross-legged on the damp moss.

"There is no apology on Earth that I could give you that could ever take that pain away and I know that and I'm surprised you're even talking to me now," I said.

"You seemed happy when you first saw me," She said, looking at me, staring me down. The full moon reflected blue light onto her face.

"I was, I thought… maybe you were the same girl but you're not," I said, carefully. "You're a different person,"

"I'm not the Bella you fell in love with?" She asked.

"No, you're not,"

"Good, she's dead," She said, harshly.

"I can understand- but you look just like her," I said. Just more breathtakingly beautiful than ever before.

"Sorry," She said.

"Don't be,"

Then we fell into an awkward silence.

"Do you think… we could ever be?" She asked, slowly.

I looked at her face with a sense of relief and pain.

"I'm not sure, I'm still in love with _Bella_," I said. "I don't think you could fill that void. Sorry,"

"Right, I know,"

I lay myself down vertically.

I felt drained. Emotionally that is.

The girl I once loved was _gone_.

She lay herself down next to me.

"Do you mind?" She asked, softly.

I remained silent. "…Yes, it hurts," I said, finally, taking in the smells of the meadow. Just like I remembered, the trees, the flowers and the animals were all the same.

"Why?"  
"Because I still love her, more than anything and it hurts me to know she's in pain!"

I felt her rose petal lips on mine. Slowly she pressed her lips against mine, softly and gently.

I wanted to kiss her back so badly but I knew that wasn't what she wanted so instead I pulled away angrily.

"Bella, thi-… what?" I asked, angrily, standing up.

"Edward, this is so confusing! Why'd you have to come back? I want to love you I really do! I want to hold you and I want you to hold me and when you say things like that I go crazy I forget what you put me through!" She stopped, "but I want to hate you so much- I want to tear you apart so badly, just so you can get a glimpse at my pain and suffering for you!"

"Then do it,"

"What?"

"Pull me apart and tear me limb from limb- I'll only rejoin in a few days…"

"What?"

"I deserve it, and… let's just get rid of this hatred. Tear me limb from limb and then let's try and sort ourselves out… maybe we can mend each others hearts," I said.

"Mend each others hearts?"

"Yes- I want my Bella back, physically you. Are. Her. Maybe if I let you take my anger out on me… maybe she'll come back emotionally," I said. "I just want her back,"

"And what do I gain in this?" She snapped, angry.

"You can let out you're anger- you surely can't be happy being this mad… at me," I said.

"Alright Edward, I shall take up your offer, I shall tear you limb from limb and we shall start over," She said, standing up and I followed suit.

She lunged at me and I knew this would be a painful experience…

_I want to swim away but don't know how,_

_Sometimes it feels like I'm falling in the ocean._

_Let the waves come and take me down_

_Let the hurricane set in motion_

_Let the rain of what I feel right now come down_

_Let the rain come down_

_-Blue October, Into the Ocean_

**Anyhoo. Please review. **

**If I don't get any I shall not continue. **

**P.S. The songs don't add anything to the story- I just liked the lyrics and thought they were appropriate. **

**I own neither the songs nor Twilight or its characters and no money is being made from this story. **


	2. My Home

**Forced to Smile**

**After17**

**Edward returns to Forks to discover that the Bella he once knew and loved is not the same girl. BellaxEdward. AU**

**Dedicated to/Written for: (You. Know. Who. You. Are.)**

_**C**_**h**_**a**_**p**_**t**_**e**_**r**_** T**_**w**_**o**

…**My Love****…**

_Time heals nothing but itself. ~She's Perfect, Jimmy Eat World_

I made a dash for the house, the leaves all blurring past my eyes. I didn't bother to make them out. It didn't matter. I just wanted to be home.

The agony of Bella pulling my limbs from my torso was behind me. The sound was clear in my mind, the sound of bone being pulled apart, the snapping of my left arm in her cold hands, then the sound of the same arm being broken again. My throat being twisted and removed from my shoulders…

The more times you went through that pain the more pain it would hurt the next.

I was finally _home._

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--

"You're back?" Bella asked, she was sitting on the sofa, next to Esme, they were watching the French news.

"Honey, where were you?" Esme asked. Bella must not have mentioned anything about ripping me apart.

I didn't really want to think about that ordeal to much quiet frankly. It was lucky that Bella was still technically a new born and could over power me without the help of some innocent human's death. She didn't need blood red eyes to tear my arms from my torso and fling them over her shoulder, no where in particular. She didn't need extra super strength to rip my skin from my body and throw it at the ground in a furious rage.

Bad memories.

I didn't want to think of my Bella that way.

A killer.

She was an innocent, beautiful angel whom I loved with all my heart.

She stood up and gracefully floated over to me wrapping her arms around me and giving me a loving hug. I hugged her back and kissed her cheek.

"Edward- can I speak to you upstairs- please?" Bella asked. She had risen from her chair and was standing awkwardly in front of me. Rubbing her arm like she was trying to warm up her skin.

"Sure," I said, letting go of Esme and walking up the stairs.

"Edward… I was thinking…" Bella said, slowly, sitting on the black leather sofa. She played with her hands, pulling and wringing her fingers. "…Maybe I should leave," She said, blurting the words together into a jumble.

"What? NO!" I cried.

"Edward you don't understand!"

"At least I'm trying to!" I cried, letting the anger get the better of me. She drew in a breathe of shock. She looked at me, fury in her golden eyes.

"WHAT?" She yelled.

"At least I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, I can understand you're pain- but you, you don't even try to understand why I left- why I wanted to protect you. You only see this from your side. You, you. You, that's all you think about. Now think about me, why I left- I only left with you in my best interest! I wanted to protect you because you're precious to me. You're my life," I said.

'If you loved me so much then why did you leave me to die in the forest?!" She said, a nasty tone to her voice.

"I wanted to protect you," I repeated raising my voice.

"Protect me? You were the one who hurt me,"

"Bella, look at it from my side…"

"What about my side,"

"I understand your side but I need you to do the same for me," I raised my voice.

"Oh… puh-lease," She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest and turning away on an angle.

"Look, this isn't working… we need a different way to do this, letting go of anger didn't work, talking- isn't working…" I ran my hand through my hair, trying to regather my thoughts.

"That's why I should leave," She said.

"That doesn't solve the problem," I said.

"You now know that," She laughed smugly.

I drew a deep breath, "…Yes,"

We stood their awkwardly, not really able to say anything for a while. I'm not to sure what happened but somehow my arms had wound their way around her waist and her arms hung loosely around my neck.

I wasn't to sure if I hugged her first or I hugged her first but it felt _good. _

Just like when I held her before. She was meant to be in my arms. I was meant o wrap my arms around her waist.

"I'm…m…I'm sorry," If she could have been crying she would have.

"I'm sorry too," I said into her hair. I was twirling the ends between my middle and index fingers and my thumb.

"Please, I don't want to keep fighting I just want to be yours again," She whispered into my shoulder. Wrapping her arms around tighter.

I had forgotten she wasn't human. Here I am, loosely holding her waist in my arms when she could barely feel it. I wrapped my arms further around her and buried my face into the crook of her neck.

"We should go somewhere and sort this out," She said. I hadn't said anything in a while, she'd been the one talking and I just played with the ends of her hair.

"I think I know the perfect location,"

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"Carlisle and Esme told me of this place…" Bella sighed, looking off into the distance, catching glimpses of the magnificent holiday house of Esme and Carlisle.

I knew it was a place where they came to rekindle their love, when they needed _time_ to themselves.

It was a joyous for them.

Maybe some would rub onto us.

Plus this Isle was very secluded. No one would bother us. Weeks could fly past us and we wouldn't know.

A perfect place for us to be away from the rest of world and just be the two of us.

She could tear me apart as much as she wanted here.

"It's very quiet and secluded here," I replied. The stars twinkled down on us but the crescent moon didn't provide much light at all.

"Would… you mind if maybe I spent some time away from you. I feel like I just need to sort somethings out. Alone," She said.

I nodded and watched her run away towards the forest.

--

She returned about three days later, the stench of animal blood hung around her, it made me ache for a drink.

God, I missed the scent of her blood… I _never_ thought I would think that. Ever.

We avoided each other from there on in, trying to avoid the same room as each other, in the odd chance we would ever cross paths, we avoided eye contact and moved quickly.

This wasn't how it was meant to be.

This was all wrong, we were meant to be happy, we were meant to rekindle, we were meant to be like a happy honeymooning couple in a tropical paradise without a care in the world… what… what went so horrible wrong?!?

I sat on the edge of the blue bed and ran my hand through my hair, making it stick up in a crazy wild style.

Why?

WHY?

_Why? _

Things aren't right! This is all wrong!

We were in love, we were happy and now… and now…

Now everything is fucked up.

And there is NO light at the end of the tunnel…

**That's it after a really long wait… **

**I am building up their pain and suffering okay guys? Trying not to make it seem like they're getting back together so quickly, (and thus the 'short' chapter, which by the way, I am sorry about) **

**Three will be up in about 3 weeks (long I know but I'm in an exam period so yeah) It'll be longer than this and it'll proberly be the last chapter (I only wanted this to be a three shot) **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Review if you like but I'm not really expecting many...**

**After17**


	3. My Love

**Forced to Smile**

**After17**

**Edward returns to Forks to discover that the Bella he once knew and loved is not the same girl. BellaxEdward. AU**

**Dedicated to/Written for: (You. Know. Who. You. Are.) Wuv you (THIS MUCH!) **

**Chapter Three**

…**My Love…**

It's been about a good three weeks, since we came here, each day getting harder and harder. Each day under this roof made me realize that I needed her more and more back into my arms. Knowing she was in the other room, alone, by herself, _without me_ almost drove me closer and closer towards my own insanity. I felt alone.

_A thousand promises that never seemed to help me before  
A hundred less and I would stumble till I found the back door  
With nothing left to think I'll probably sit around and ignore  
The apathy that always leads me  
And always finds a way to break me down_

_~Decided to Break it, Marianas Trench_

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"Urgh, you're so self-centered, so over confident, I don't know what I saw in you to begin with!" She screamed, punching the wall with an ice cold fist.

"Me? I'm self-centered? Wel-" "-Yes, you are!" "Wait until I'm done talking! What about _you_?" I said, refusing to raise my voice like someone here.

"I'm so sick of this, this fighting, I can't see you're side Edward," She said, falling to the cold marble floor, hunching her shoulder over. She looked so vulnerable and week.

"I'm tired of it too," I said, kneeing down to the ground, and trying to get a look at her. This was certainly a new twist in our how long has it been… two hour long argument.

"...I don't even know what I saw in you anymore," She whispered, shooting up and dashing off. I was left there on the cold, floor alone and utterly heart-broken. This wasn't right and this wasn't how things were meant to be.

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"What are these?" Bella demanded, storming into the kitchen, where I sat on the high, metallic bar stool, admiring my work.

"What do you mean Bella?" I smirked.

"Don't you give me that smirk, Edward," She stormed over, I looked at the marble in the ground, I was disappointed she hadn't caused mini cracks with her feet.

"These?" Bella asked, pointed at the clear asymmetrical vase that held a fresh batch of Freesias.

"These Bella, are Freesias," I said, trying to keep a light voice.

"_Why _are they here?" She asked.

"Oh, I just like the smell of them," I smiled. "They were always utterly alluring to me,"

"No you don't like them," She snapped.

"Yes, I do," I replied.

"No, you don't," She retorted.  
"I think I know what I like Bella," I said.

"I know why they're here Edward, I don't know what you're trying to do," She said.

"Oh, really? Do you?" I said, and got up, leaving her alone, confused for once.

I wondered into the living room, totally aware of Bella movements, I could feel them. She hurried into the living room. I grabbed a DVD case and popped it into the DVD player, pretending to be completely unaware of her standing in the door way.

"Hmh?" She said, I turned around and noticed she was holding a book, a old beaten up looking book, her beloved (used and abused) copy of Wuthering Heights.

"I was reading it," I shrugged.

"You _hate_ Wuthering Heights," She said.

"I just wanted something to read, don't you _like_ Wuthering Heights?" I asked, dumbly.

"What are you watching?"

"You're full of questions this morning Bella," I said.

"Romeo and Juliet! It's Romeo and Juliet," She argued.

"Yes, Sherlock, what'd your point?" I asked.

"Why?"

"I haven't watched it in ages, you enjoy Romeo and Juliet? Care to join me?" I asked, sitting down.

She silently sat on the opposite end of the couch from me.

"This is the version we watched… on my birthday," She said, nodding slightly as she spoke. Her breath barely a whisper.

"Is it?" I asked, continuing to play dumb.

"Yes, what is your game?" She asked, attempting to stare me down.

"Nothing, really…" I sighed, and gave up. I scooted over, she immediately tensed up. "You said you couldn't even remember why you loved me," I said.

"Uh, I said I don't remember what I saw in you, I remember very clearly why I loved you… and why I still do," She said.

I hung my head and smiled.

"Right, because all the arguing and fighting, that very clearly shows how much we love each other," I said.

"I love you, but what's to say you won't leave me again? What-" "-I'd never leave you again Bella, for as long as eternity!" "Let me finish what's to say you won't hurt me again?" She finished.

"I can't say for certain that I'd never leave you again, I can't make that promise, there's no way I could, I wish I could though. But if I could have a do over…" I said.

"A do-over, a do-over, if only I had a do-over," She mimicked.

"Why are you so cold, so hateful?" I got up and left.

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"Maybe when we die what we last feel is what we hold on to the most?" Carlisle said into the phone. I needed to talk to someone else. Someone other than Bella.

"What?"

"I've noticed it in our family, that the problems we have with ourselves are what we left unaccomplished in our human lives," Carlisle said.

I could see where he was going with this, I think. If I used Rosalie as an example I could comprehend what he was saying. Rosalie died wanting a family, to be loved and admired by all, and now that's all she wanted. She wanted to be human again so bad that she could have that all back again. And Emmett, all he wanted when he died was Rosalie, and a rematch with that bear. But I wasn't there for Alice's so I don't really know about her. Jasper never said what he wanted but he properly wanted to win the war, to succeed. He wanted to succeed through this vegetarian vampire challenge. Esme had also wanted a family, like Rosalie but I guess Esme settled for us.

"Bella died just wanting you back, wanting to be loved," Carlisle went on.

"She has me back," I said, interrupting him.

"I don't think she knows you love her," He said.

"Oh, okay. Alright, I think I get it," I said. "Thanks Carlisle,"

"Anytime,"

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"Would you mind if I sat here?" I asked, standing at the base of the thick tree. I looked up at Bella, hanging between the branches and the leaves. I could smell the fresh, new blossoms of the fragrant flowers beginning to open slowly.

Hopefully I wasn't intruding because I'd given her about 20 or so hours alone.

"…Sure," I climbed up the tree, using my legs more than my arms. I choose the strongest part of the branch and I sat next to her.

"Sometimes I just like to sit by myself and stare out into the world, people watch most of the time… but we're alone here… so," Bella trailed off, her gaze not leaving the golden glow of the sun.

I didn't say anything.

I felt the weight of Bella's head on my shoulder, "Do you mind?" She asked.

"No, I don't. Please, get comfortable," I said, as she rested her head again, getting comfy.

I wrapped my arm around her waist, "Do _you_ mind?" I asked.

"No," She whispered.

We sat in silence watching sun melt into the ocean. It was now sunset and people would just getting comfy in their homes, getting dinner ready or relaxing after a hard day.

They didn't know what hard was.

Hard was loosing the love of your life and then sitting next to them in a tree and feeling like you want to touch them, hold them, feel them but you just can't.

"…Edward," She whispered.

"Yes?" I felt her lift her head and turn to face me. I stared into her amber eyes, lost in them.

I saw her pain and I knew her love.

I felt her fingers warp around my hand that held her waist, slowly inching around my fingers, in between, she laced her fingers with mine and held my hand.

Her tiny, thin fingers in between mine, it felt _right_.

"I still love you," I whispered, refusing to move my eyes from hers.

I could stay here. Forever.

This was the woman I would do anything for.

"I love you- I never stopped loving you," Bella whispered back, looking into my eyes herself.

I placed a light kiss on her nose.

She leaned forward and pressed her perfectly shaped rose petal lips to mine.

At first neither of us dared to move, just our lips touching, motionless. Our fingers still intertwined, resting in her lap.

Slowly she pulled away only a fraction of space and immediately my lips felt cold.

She re pressed her lips to mine. Repeatedly. Tenderly placing soft, seductive kisses on my lips.

My other hand found it's way to her hair and stroked the back of her head lovingly. My hand reached the ends of her hair and then I moved my hand to her jaw.

I moved my lips from hers and I placed a kiss on the side of her neck. On her jaw. On her cheek. On her nose. And back to her lips.

"I love you," She whispered.

"You keep saying that," I replied.

"I love you, don't ever forget that- I love you, if I love you- you won't leave me again," She said.

"I'll never leave you along again Bella… _my_ Bella," I said. "I couldn't bare that pain- I couldn't put you through that,"

"Please… don't," She said resting her head on my chest and I stroked her hair while the sun had set and the air was cool but I still felt warm. I could stay here. Never move from this moment in time.

Bella was mine again. She was in my arms and she always would be.

X … 0 … X … 0

0 … X … 0 … X

X … 0 … X … 0

0 … X … 0 … X

"Alright," I said. "Shall we watch a movie?"

"You can choose," She said, I took her hand and pulled her into the room with the plasma tv and DVD's. I wasn't too sure why I took her hand, I just did.

I sat her down at the couch and picked out a movie. I knew what I was looking for.

_Wuthering Heights._ The 1939 version because it was the most tolerable of the lot.

"Wuthering Heights?" She asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes,"

"But you hate Wuthering Heights,"

"But you love it,"

I placed the DVD into the player and went at sat next to her.

"You don't have to watch this," She said. Always thinking of others before herself. Good to see some things don't change.

"Bella, tell me more about when you were… _alone_, if you can," I asked, my eyes not leaving screen.

"Now?" I nodded. "Well, I don't really remember that much, I just remember that I didn't really do much at all, woke up, went to school, came home, did my homework, made dinner went to bed or something like that," She said.

"That's it?"

"Well, kind of, I… made a new friend… of sorts. Jacob Black, I think you guys met once, oh yeah, at prom… that was it…" She paused. "I suppose he became my best friend of sorts, we hung out pretty much everyday, doing homework, I'd watch him work on his car or we'd just talk but then… I don't know, he stopped seeing me, didn't really want anything to do with me…" I could see it hurt her.

"Bella, _Shh_ it's okay, don't go on," I said.

"I felt like no one wanted me anymore, because everyone kept leaving me without explaining anything, I just wanted to forget and be free and I had seen them cliff diving before, it looked like fun, just falling into the ocean… but I forgot about the rising waters and… I guess you know the rest," She trailed off.

"Bella…" I guess I'd never once thought she'd been in so much pain. I never really thought too much about the pain that _others_ could cause to her.

Jacob Black would pay…

I will hunt him down and hurt him bad. He will suffer long and hard for what he did to her…

"Don't take it out on him, he couldn't tell me even if he wanted to Edward," She whispered.

"So you now know?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Bella, I… I'm…" I was lost for words. What could I say to her? I love you and I'll never hurt you again? Do you want me to go break Jacob Black's legs for you? I'm sorry? For what? That I left? That you were in pain? That you ever met me? It wasn't worth it.

"Come here," I held my arms open, waiting for her come closer.

She crawled into my arms and into snuggled up really close to me. She pulled her legs up to her chest in the process. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close while we watched the movie.

"Love really is complicated… you can't simplify and condense it," I muttered. I'll never judge Heathcliff for leaving ever again. For never being able to accept that Cathy was in love with someone else.

"I wonder if we ever have happy ending?" She asked, I didn't know if she was asking the empty room or me.

"It could," I said.

"What?" She asked.

"Maybe we could have a happily ever after or the closest thing reality has to offer," I explained, looking into her golden, wide set eyes.

"Happily eternity after would be a better way to put it," She laughed. She laughed, this was it. A mile stone. We were officially getting somewhere. I knew it.

I knew love hadn't died!

I finally saw some hope. It was small candle in a dark room. Illuminating only a small area.

Her laughter, she could still muster some happiness!

My facial expression must have given me away. Even years of perfecting my 'poker face' had melted away when I was with her.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Bella, can't you see? We maybe still have a choice at this, maybe we can still be together, it _can _work," I cheered. My voice unusually high.

I knew this place built for love (erm, making love but whatever same difference) would have to help us out.

"We just need to find a way to rekindle our love, Love, what shall we do watch another movie?" I asked.

"Edward, you've lost me, explain why you're so happy and 'Love'?" She asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Bella, we still have hope, because I can see we both want each other back, Bella, we just have to work at it… a lot more… and forget the ghosts of the past," I said.

"Edward, I'm not just going to 'forget' what you did to me," Bella exclaimed, her eyes were angry.

"You forget that it ever happened and I will remember never to do that to you again, Bella… Love, please. You can still laugh. You can still love… me," I said. "We have to try,"

"I can't just forget," She said, extremely frustrated.

"Well, then can you remember other things? I know, come," I grabbed her fine fingers in mine and rushed to the piano that sat in the room with the glass panels facing the water.

I sat her on the stool and I took the spot next to her.

"Then we shall remember better times," I said.

Hope.

I still remembered the song, it came to me in my car once when I was wagging P.E.

Bella's lullaby.

Bella sat perfectly still while I played the notes.

"Oh Edward," She exclaimed, clinging onto my right arm tightly, the closest to her. She sounded like she would sob if she could.

She buried her head into my chest.

I wasn't too sure if I knew what to do, so I just played with her long brown locks. I wished that she still had a smell, and washed her hair with that strawberry shampoo.

"….remember the good times," She mumbled into my chest.

"Yes, can we do that? Please?" I asked, kissing the top of her head.

She looked up me happily and then smiled. It was the largest smile I'd seen since this whole ordeal began then she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my lips. It was soft and as light as a feather. Her cold lips pressed against mine, moving to our own personal rhythm.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, I could feel every fibre of her silky dusk rose top under my fingers. I pulled away and buried my head into her nook of her neck.

"I still love you," She whispered into my ear.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," I placed kisses along her collar bone, neck and cheeks to prove my point. "More than you could possibly ever imagine. Do you hear that Isabella Marie Swan? I love you and I always will, no matter what happens or however far apart we are! Happily forever after Bella,"

_**FIN**_

**Thank you for reading!!! (Short- no it was not, it was intended to be a mere three-shot) **

**(That was the fluffiest of endings I could think of) **

**Ah, I dunno. I tried my best, I tried to take it slow… but enough that they didn't end up back together but I didn't want to take so long it was crazy. Meh, it took them like four weeks to get back together if I remember my story right. Seems long enough to me. **

**Well, you know who you are, do you like you're story? (You better review ho!) **

**After17**


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